The Nutty Professor 1963 3/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

The Nutty Professor

Some rather fine comedy scenes, in particular the hangover scene, the first-person perspective of Buddy’s first appearance in public, the first jeckyll-and-hide-like transformation scene, Buddy sharp-talking the dean, and the parental family home flashback. Other bits didn’t work so well, such as the mawkish public transformation of Buddy from himself back to Julius – Jerry Lewis doing ‘feel sorry for me’ schtick is often cringey, and this is very cringey.

Those college kids looked way too old to be there.

I think Jerry was working out some Dean issues in this.

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Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones 3.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Attack of the Clones

Well, I think whenever Annakin is on screen in dramatic parts, it feels quite poor and drags by his mopey teenager persona, but there were two dramatic scenes I thought were decent. The first, the death-scene of Shmi Skywalker, was actually very good, and the second, where Annakin reveals what he did to the Sand People to Padme, was reasonable. The action parts are mostly fine as long as Annakin isn’t speaking.

On the other hand, I very much enjoyed the scenes where McGregor was present and not encumbered by the presence of Annie, as well as any scenes with Yoda, Mace Windu and Count Dooku. Particularly enjoyable parts were the fight between Obi-Wan and Django Fett, and the whole last act in fact (especially the fantastic fight between Dooku and Yoda).

Also good was Jar Jar was in this one much less than I remembered, thankfully.

I think, and I need to rewatch Revenge of the Sith to be sure, this is my favourite among the main prequel movies.

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Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 4/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs

Rather charming, clever and extremely inventive animated movie, that starts well and just gets better and better. I like some of the great ideas in here, like the clever girl having her own protective behaviours such as hiding her own smartness, and the fact some of the characters act against how they’d act if this movie traded in stereotypes.

One of the best animated movies I’ve seen for a while (for its inventiveness and weird moments, like people being chased by walking roast chickens). It plays to me like the weird lovechild of Tim Burton and David Lynch, sentenced to work at pixar together (maybe that’s a little strong).

Beautiful.

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The Man With The Iron Fists 2.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

The Man With The Iron Fists

This movie had some real problems, and I was getting bored in the first act. It looked pretty, the action scenes were decent to very good, and you could tell care was taken over the look and feel. However, it really fell short in terms of narrative coherence, and and sort of character building. It felt like a lot of fussy scenes that weren’t building to anything involving characters you really couldn’t care about.

However, it did get better as it went on. In the second act, things started to line up, and there was a better sense of cohesion, and things made sense, which dragged me from apathy to paying better attention.

By the time the final act/finale started rolling, I was fully engaged, really digging the visuals, and whilst the action could have been editing better, I found myself enjoying the ideas, panache and sheer amount of mayhem going on.

Overall, yes I enjoyed it, but I nearly turned off 20 minutes in because it seemed diffuse and more like strung together action scenes rather than a coherent whole, but I’m glad I stuck with it.

It obviously was a homage to 70s martial arts movies, and also a homage to the subgenre of spaghetti Western where gadgets are significant – the most famous example being the Sabata movies, I guess.

Fun, but the first 30 minutes are something to put up with, rather than enjoy. The rest is fine though.

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White Zombie 3/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

White Zombie

Whilst not quite as good as some of the other great, weird horror movies of the 30s (Freaks, Island of Dr Moreau, The Black Cat), it really works well whenever the zombies are on screen. It works less well in the stagey, ridiculously melodramatic performances, the ridiculous pauses to indicate significance, and Lugosi being Dracul-ish at every opportunity.

However, I did definitely enjoy the zombie/walking dead parts, and can happily ignore the pointless scenes, the constant Lugosi hand-gestures to indicate he’s turning up his mesmeric power to 11, and enjoy the odd tension, the pretty ‘white zombie’ of the title, and the vulture that looked distinctly like an eagle. Oh and a pretty good ending.

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Vampyr 3/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Vampyr

This didn’t really work for me for the first half. I really enjoy another movie by Dreyer, specifically The Passion of Joan of Arc, but the silent screen aesthetics employed in this, a talkie, seemed retrogressive. The quality of the print also didn’t help. However, there were some really striking scenes in the first half that kept my attention, and I actually felt more immersed and less bored by the half-way mark, where the movie definitely picked up for me, and it was much more enjoyable.

I watched it because it’s on so many ‘great horror movie’ lists and I’ve been meaning to for a long time, and I can see why it’s on such lists, but it does take a little time to immerse yourself into.

This really looks like something that was a profound influence on David Lynch. I did feel Eraserhead lurked somewhere within its scenes and structure.

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The Wicker Man 1973

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

The Wicker Man

Such an electrifying movie in the last act, made so by the baffling, unsettling buildup throughout the film.

This staunch, upright policeman represents us, the viewer, as he first strides, then falters, through this strange island culture where everything seems sexualised and wanton and weird. He is as confused as us, the viewers. The villagers veer between odd and friendly, and almost everything said and done seems distinctly off-kilter.

We see this staunch Christian feel himself diminished and isolated as he realises he is in an environment like he’s never encountered, where the friendly words, and seemingly joyful music has an underpinning of debauchery, cruelty and barbarity he finds hard to cope with – from the beetle deliberately tied to the pin to go round and round until it’s tied up, to the little girl made to put a frog in her mouth to get rid of a sore throat, to the odd tricks the children play on the policeman.

The film itself is indeed a horror movie, but defies genre. It’s a dark, dark comedy of sorts – reminiscent of the old TV series The Prisoner in its disconcerting changing of familiar buildings and clothes into something alien – a musical (the music infuses the film almost wholly, with the only odd music being an out-of-place funky electric guitar score very near the end when Woodward is trying to escape pursuit), and a detective story.

The vacant smiles and constant digressions the villagers and Lord make when talking to the policeman just keep building and building the tension, until the nature of the old religion makes itself clear.

Finally, you feel that both Christian and heathen are equally wrong and equally impotent as the villagers sing and dance on the windy grassland. This sacrifice feels both dreadful (Woodward is amazing in the last act) and pointless, as the villagers cavort in the windy sunset, you feel the gesture they are making to nature is pointless, and nature will do what it will do, and the actions of men won’t change a thing.

A great film, horror or not.

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Stone Cold 3.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Stone Cold

Whilst Brian Bosworth has all the acting ability of a tree stump, the charm of this movie is generated by 3 things; the grandiose scene-chewing of Lance Henriksen, delivering lines like ‘This reminds me of my father’s last words: “Don’t son, that gun is loaded!” ‘ and doing a world-class evil laugh; a raging William Forsythe who acts like a cross between a coke-up Harvey Keitel and a grumpy bulldog who has been forced to sleep on a bed of Lego; and the rather fine action set pieces. It’s all 80s through-and-through, which is a shame because it was made in 91, and hitting the tail-end of that particular action era.

Baggy in places, but starts well (with a game of chicken where guys shoot beercans off each other’s heads which quickly escalates to using uzis), and ends really, really well. How the hell did they get permission to do all that mayhem in a great building like that?

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The Empire Strikes Back 5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

The Empire Strikes Back

A magnificent, driving narrative, with solid dialogue, great lighting, editing, framing, visuals, acting, music, tone, mix of drama and comedy, spectacular special effects for 95% of the time, and adding a depth to the space-fantasy genre in movies that was entirely absent before it.

Contains great-must see moments, at a rate of, I dunno, 1 every 8 minutes it feels like.

Ridiculously good.

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Star Wars IV: A New Hope 4.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Star Wars IV: A New Hope

A real thrilling spectacle. It’s been 10 years or more since I last watched this, and I have to admit, I was excited about rewatching it. And yes, it easily lived up to the expectation and excitement. My favourite part is one of the quieter moments, where Vader declares ‘I find your lack of faith…disturbing.’ But there are a dozen of more really great moments, and the 2 hours whizzes by.

I enjoy Alec Guinness the most in this, I think, but Harrison Ford comes a close second.

Still thrills, all these years later.

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Island of Lost Souls 4/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Island of Lost Souls

The is amazing. Whilst there are some slightly better horror movies made in the 1930s (I’m looking at you, Bride of Frankenstein), this is definitely among the handful of really great pulp/graphic horrors of the 30s, before the Hays code kicked in. I’d lump this in with Freaks and The Black Cat as in that class of great 30s pulp horror that still stands up today.

The really weird makeup and dialogue, and memorable setups such as the panther woman, the ‘house of pain’, “The Law”, and the weird mudhut village in the jungle, along with Charles Laughton leering over his creations, the women, and his use of the whip really build to something special.

Here’s to never being in The House of Pain.

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The Bad Seed 4.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

The Bad Seed

This is a startling movie about psychopathy. The acting is stagey and melodramatic (it’s based on a Stage Play, with most, if not all, the original stage cast), and there’s a lot of monologues, but hell, does it work. Central is the little blonde girl, who psychopathy is clear – she’s charming but forcefully and oddly so, confident to a degree it feels unnatural for her age, and completely devoid of remorse. She feels trivial setups completely justify her murderous actions. Her glee is scary, but scarier still are the moments we detect a vacancy and absence of…something…behind those eyes.

And it’s not just her performance that electrifies the movie. The mother, torn by knowledge of her daughter’s evil actions, but still loving her daughter, gives a borderline hysterical performance that’s terrific, only surpassed by a grieving mother whose little son is dead…and she suspects it wasn’t an accident. Also, there’s a terrific Southern gardener who reminds you of William H. Macy, who is on to the little girl at the start, and threatens and teases her throughout…and it’s very unsettling how the little girl handles the (true) accusations with such clear confidence and offhandedness.

What I thought was the ending was extreme and shocking (I’m not going to spoil it, but you’ll know it when you see it), but there are further scenes that feel tacked on (kind of like the end of Psycho?), but that are in their own way, almost as weird as the preceding 2 hours, and in a way more dreamlike and pushing the story into archetype fairy tale.

Would make a great double bill with Night of the Hunter for a great night of fantastic black-and-white gothic-thriller-horror.

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How To Train Your Dragon 3.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

How To Train Your Dragon

This started slow, but got better and better, and had a great, happy ending. Very enjoyable.

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Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 3/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Reasonably charming comedy, with some laugh out loud moments (watch out for the mention of a ‘genital cuff’, and Caine testing the paralysis in Martin’s legs), and a ton of charm from Caine and Martin. Glenne Headly also does really well not to be swamped by these two.

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Never Sleep Again 4/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Never Sleep Again

Ridiculously long, but rather glorious documentary about all the movies of the Nightmare on Elm Street series (except the very recent remake). You get actors’ insights, special effects guys, producers, where the seed ideas for each movie came from, you get everything you could possibly want. And it doesn’t flag until maybe the last 10 minutes, where it turns into a love-in about New Line – but even this is redeemed by the closing titles, where various actors from the series deliver the best lines.

This documentary made me realise two things: The Freddy series is clearly the best horror franchise of the 80s; Robert Englund is fantastic.

Got 4 hours free? Watch this.

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The Killer 3.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

The Killer

Parts of this film have not aged well. The parts that have aged well are the insanely great action pieces – if there’s gunfire, you’re gold. To some degree if there’s doves, churches, candles, hospitals, or fast cars, you’re also gold. It’s the rest of it that is distinctly shaky. While some of the more thoughtful scenes look and sound great (reminiscent of Sergio Leone and Ennio Moricone), other’s have bad dialogue, endless emo grimacing, and quite terrible synth music.

So it’s 80s, and parts haven’t aged well. But the action stuff and the cool of Jeff (this film is channelling Le Samourai, right?) allows you to forgive the more creaky parts of it.

Also, did the villain have a major share in a white sweatsuit business? Because all the cannon-fodder henchmen looked like that’s were they got their outfits…

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Fermat’s Room 3.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Fermat's Room

Nicely made film that looks great, and solid script and performances. The central conceit intrigues right up until you find out exactly who is responsible, and the revelation doesn’t live up to the original promise, and as you think it through, the logical flaws start to be bothersome. In some respects, it’s a slicker version of 1997’s Cube, but that movie at least had the balls to not explain itself – and the explanation here makes the film weaker by explaining the mystery. Still, great first and second acts.

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Plague of the Zombies 3/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Plague of the Zombies

Pretty solid Hammer movie exploring Haitian zombie lore, with some tense scenes. The scene were huntsmen cut cards over a trapped woman is tense as was the scene where they hunt her down in the woods beforehand), and the old mine full of white-faced, white-eyed zombies was fine, as was the priest costume. Recommended.

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Friday the 13th 2009 2.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Friday the 13th 2009

Dark reboot of the original series, which is boring when Jason isn’t around, and pretty good when he is. There’s numerous references to the ‘classic’ movies, especially the first 3 (but there are definitely other visual references to other ones), but it has very, very baggy sections throughout. I also missed the whispering breath scoring of the original series (we get it a little at the beginning). I actually liked some of the minor characters (the Asian guy and the black guy), and also how at least 1 character was deliberately written to be a tool (thus making his death more satisfying), but I wasn’t that keen on the liberal borrowing from other horror franchises. There was borrowings from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, for example.

Overall, worth a watch if you’re a horror fan, but go in with low, low expectations.

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Nightmare on Elm Street 2010 1/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Nightmare on Elm Street 2010

This was really quite poor. It had the flashy graphics, the beats, but it felt lifeless, characterless and pointless. I felt sorry for the actors, who did a sterling job with what they were given, but this really felt like a Michael-Bay-Directing-Transformers version of a horror movie. I wondered if they felt they were trapped in a nightmare during the making of this movie. The whole child molester angle was also quite tasteless as it recalled the behaviours of real-life child molesters, and made you feel uncomfortable.

It had two moments I liked, which helped break up the monotony. The part where one of the characters dies, and Freddy explains there is brain function 7 minutes after death, so he still has time to play… and the part where the parents are hunting Freddy down and he’s fleeing, which was quite good. It too often left me bored or slightly offended.

Still, not as completely terrible as ‘New Nightmare’ though.

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Jason X

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Jason X

Okay, we’re now on the 10th Friday the 13th movie, and this alone should alert you you’re heading for a barrel of crap. If so, your film radar is suitably developed, but switch that beeping screen off. It’s misleading you. And don’t expect a full-horror fare – this is comedy/action with the horror being a simple springboard. This is to the Friday 13th Series what ‘Army of darkness’ is to the Evil Dead series.

What Jason X is is a fun, dumb film that has just enough wit, action and snippets of cool dialogue and self-reference to make it a tip-top popcorn movie. And believe it or not, no less than David Cronenberg apparently liked the script and premise enough to do a cameo. Good times!

So I think this is actually non-canon and doesn’t really follow on from number 9, and is set in the future, where a deep-frozen Jason is recovered from the now-uninhabitable Earth, but then circumstances and lack of attention allow the big guy to thaw out.

Okay, Jason comes back to life on a space ship, that happens to be carrying space-Special-Forces guys, a group of college kids, and a very cute lady robot.

After some fun dispatching the grunts in various amusing and ‘ouch!’ ways, it’s time for Jason to do that hoodoo he does so well. Along the way, he does his usual machete thing (of course), has a face-off with the ladybot who gets suitable software updates to turn her into a terminatrix (played by a lady that reminds me a lot of Karen Black), and he appears to be dead. But… he is rendered lifeless in the medic lab, where the nanobots used to repair damaged tissues have escaped, and the little fellows find their way into Jason, giving us… BIONIC JASON!

There’s lots of funnies that are even funnier if you know anything about the Friday 13th series, but you don’t really need this background to enjoy – it’s still pretty good without this. The most amusing is, when the few survivors need to distract Jason for a short time during escape, they create a holodeck around him of Camp Crystal with 2 hotties in sleeping blankets who say stuff like ‘we just love premarital sex!’ – suitably enraging the big lug while escape is attempted.

This is way, way better than it has any right to be.

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Freddy Versus Jason 3/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Freddy Vs Jason

Yeah, reasonably fun, but with long sections with too little Jason or Freddy, especially in the first half. When they actually were either fighting or terrorising the kids, it was decent enough, but a little more Freddy humour would have been nice. Decent turn in a minor role by genre great Katherine Isabelle (her from the Ginger Snaps trilogy, and American Mary).

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Hound of the Baskervilles 1959 3.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Hound of the Baskervilles

Fine Hammer take on Sherlock Holmes from Peter Cushing. Christopher Lee is also present and rather good as Sir Henry Baskerville, and I liked that the Watson in this was rather capable and less of a bumbling audience-substitute who only serves to listen and admire Holmes. This is Hammer of course, so we get the bombastic school and more blood and violence than more conventional versions, but it’s good fun. Cushing was a great Holmes, it’s a shame he didn’t play Holmes again for Hammer.

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Mighty Joe Young 3.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Mighty Joe Young

I really expected this to be a rerun of King Kong, and for the first 2/3rd it mostly was, but it then wildly diverged into unexpected territory of a chase, followed by rescue that was genuinely exciting. The male lead was one of the worst actors I’ve ever seen, but the rest of the cast was solid. Pretty decent.

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Friday the 13th 9: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday 3/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

Completely bonkers Jason tale, that deviates wildly from the usual formula of kids in woods + Jason into a tale of body-jumping Jason hunting down a new body. Mixing elements of The Omen, Dog The Bounty Hunter, The Hidden and Child’s Play, this is bananas. But entertaining.

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The Quatermass Experiment 2005 3/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

The Quatermass Experiement 2005

A very interesting experience, a live broadcast reworking of the original Quatermass story. I like Jason Flemyngs interpretation, but stagey (by design) and a little too old fashioned for its own good.

Mark discussing Quatermass on the Talk Without Rhythm Podcast

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Quatermass and the Pit 4/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Quatermass and the Pit

Another great Quatermass film, with some fine tension building, acting and set pieces. It gets baggy and dissolute in act 2, but hell, is act 1 and 3 great. PS. WE ARE THE MARTIANS.

Mark discussing Quatermass on the Talk Without Rhythm Podcast

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Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan 3/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan

Decent entry into the Jason tales, with some creative deaths and a little tension, but needed to spend more time in Manhattan to be properly fun. Enjoyable enough though. Best kill: Jason punching a guy’s head off.

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Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood 2.5/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

Friday the 13th Part 7

Ridiculous sequel where, even though people find corpses throughout the woods, they act as if nothing has happened and decide to get some air in the same woods. It’s not completely without charm though, as Kane Hodder’s reanimated Jason gives us a steady stream of kills, and the premise of Jason vs Carrie is a decent one, even though the film doesn’t really deliver on it.

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The Poseidon Adventure 4/5

Posted on February 15, 2014 by Mark

The Poseidon Adventure

Despite a few cheesy moments (especially in the build-up to the tidal wave), this was pretty damn thrilling. Everyone seemed to be giving it their all, and it kept me totally engaged from the point the tidal wave hit, right through to the end. The part where the old fitness guy helps the young singer to leave her dead brother was quite touching.

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